INTRODUCTION TO
THE STUDY OF TIRUVALLUVAR
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A Lecture by Prof.Avvai Duraisami Pillai
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Part – 82
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It is a known fact that both the husband and wife were born and brought up in different atmospheres and in different families. When the period of mating sets in, they meet each other by chance and their minds are attracted. In two or three such meetings their minds become united by love and they feel that either of them are indispensable to each other and in the end they decide themselves to be partners of life. This aspect of selecting life partners was left free to (he option of individuals in those good old days. The section that deals with the selection of life-mates is called Kalaviyal. In Karppial, the selection is conveyed to the parents and they celebrate the marriage and thus confirm their partnership. The newly wedded couple set up a separate family of theirs and commence to do the duties pertaining to the household life-Immediately after the marriage, the union of their mind and the love that binds them together develop themselves to form an indissoluble admixture of psychical elements. This psychological bondage is tried and solidified by the on-slaughts of familiarity and partings caused by duties. The husband realises that
உடம்போடு உயிரிடை என்னமற் றன்ன
மடந்தையொடு எம்மிடை நட்பு. (81)
i.e., the friendship that exists between him and his wife is exactly identical with that of the soul and the physical body; that means there is no severance during life time. On another occasion the husband declares:
வாழ்தல் உயிர்க்கன்னன் ஆயிழை சாதல்
அதற்கு அன்னள் நீங்கு மிடத்து (82)
i.e. living with my wife is as pleasant as my life is to me that parting with her even for a short time is as unbearable as the pangs of death. The enjoyment of the cordial friendship of these life-partners is being explained in a couplet as the enjoyment of a householder who, living in his own house, derives pleasure in co-sharing his earned income with his fellowmen.
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